Sentimentality has not been my friend. I like to keep mementos reminding me of good times, happy things, and people I love. But when you’re so busy storing these items that you don’t actively display and enjoy them, you’re not getting any benefit, are you? I know I’m not.

So we’re learning to be a bit more ruthless. Donating books we’ll never read again (and being more discerning when we buy new ones), throwing out receipts and bits of paper that we no longer need.

There are two big lessons we need to learn and stick to:

1) Once you’ve started decluttering, don’t allow new clutter to take its place. Once you get that desktop or kitchen counter or dining room table nice and clear, keep it that way. Look for ways to embrace the clutter-free lifestyle and try to keep up – don’t let it gradually clutter back up. Be vigilant!

2) Fighting clutter is a continual process. Just one cleaning session will not be enough. Once you get an area clear, you must work to keep it that way. It will be much easier to maintain if you try hard not to let it get cluttered again. It’s not as hard as it sounds, as long as you don’t allow yourself to be lazy.

We’re working on our living room right now. Because our place is so small, we have my desk in the living room. It’ll be moving to the dining room as soon as we can get things cleared out in there. We have to do a section at a time.

I’m hoping that posting about these things will help us keep going, and keep us more accountable on doing what we planned. Does writing about it help keep you accountable? Or do you feel embarrassed by your projects and would rather just talk about them when they’re finished?

[image: stock.xchng]

With the internet allowing us to stay in touch everyone and everything, our connectedness can actually get overwhelming. And we want to please everyone, too.

We want to give our businesses or jobs what they want and need. We need our colleagues to get what they need, in case we later need their help. We provide our employees with many things, too. And then there are the numerous family obligations. How can we be all things to all of these people?

We can’t. If you over-schedule, over-commit and over-promise, it’s possible that you’ll fail somewhere. The answer is as simple as a 1980s anti-drug campaign slogan (thank you, Nancy Reagan): Just Say No.

What? We can’t say no to our family or jobs! But we must – and that can be tough for moms. If you don’t have the time to take care of yourself and your needs, you’re doing too much. If your family is threatening to cut you off from the internet, your computer, or something from your work, maybe you need to stop and re-evaluate. You don’t have to be supermom.

It’s okay to occasionally say no. You can’t do everything, nor be all things to all people. Think hard about all of the projects on your plate. What’s most urgent? Most important? What will give you the most return for your time?

Once you’ve thought about this and can articulate an answer, it’s time to look at your time commitments. We all have the same time allotments. It’s all about how we divide it up.

You know your strengths and your weaknesses. Is there something you’re struggling with because you thought you could handle it, but you can’t? See if you can bow out gracefully. You’ll be amazed at how relieved you feel afterward.

It can be hard to say no. Start with something small, like doing an errand that you really don’t have time for. That sense of relief you feel after you say no? Remember it so you can do it again when something bigger comes along that you really don’t have time to commit to, but feel bad about turning down. (Even if it’s that volunteer position at the school, or bake sale at church, or scorekeeper at soccer league.)

We’re not talking about making sweeping changes in your lifestyle or your way of working. Little steps. Start arranging your time a little differently. See how that feels. And then go from there. As you build your confidence, you’ll be ready to experiment more.

These same concepts apply to your kids’ commitments as well. Are they overscheduled? They don’t need to participate in everything. Let them choose one or two, tops. Teach them early to limit their commitments. We all need downtime.

Image: Becky Scott

I fight the battle every day, just like you do. Some days I win, and some days I don’t. But if there’s one thing I am, it’s stubborn. I refuse to let this stuff get the best of me and my business.

We’re all trying to make our way keep our households running smoothly. There’s so much to do: kids, meals, school, laundry, bills, chores … the list grows every day, doesn’t it?

What do you struggle to get control of? Is it your stack of bills that you need to pay or file? How about that e-mail – are you buried and are considering e-mail bankruptcy? Does your desk threaten to topple under the weight of the papers that are taking it over? Are piles of laundry threatening to take over your floors? Maybe the kids’ toys are out of control? Hate doing dishes?

I want to know what you struggle with, so we can talk about ways to solve your most common problems. Sure, I can expound on what I’ve seen, what new stuff — or tried-and-true — can help you. And I will, at times. But what I really want to know is what’s giving you the most trouble. Let’s tackle them together, shall we?

Tell me what you’d like to see this site be. How will it best work for you?